When loss occurs, someone leaves us, betrays us, or hurts us in some way, it’s very easy to stay in pain because strangely enough it can be incredibly comfortable.
Once pain really settles in, it binds us and protects us from moving forward, and it becomes easy to stay cocooned in our grief. Like a constant unfriendly companion, the pain is content to hang out with us. And that’s what we think we need, something that wont leave us again.
But you cant stay in that space forever. After a while it stops protecting you and starts to hinder your progress. The great things that are on their way can’t get to you whilst you are holding on so tightly to past disappointments. Obsessing about what could have been or should have been keeps you bound up in a limbo that wont help you discover the next great gift on offer.
When we can learn to accept that what is done is done, no matter how painful it was or is, we make a step towards opening up to what could be, and we gently say goodbye to what was.
How many times has something awful happened, a friend dumped you or a boyfriend/girlfriend or you lost your job or missed an opportunity, and it tore you to pieces and you never thought you’d recover? Yet down the track you realised that the very severance that you would have never initiated yourself, was in hindsight the best thing that could have happened.
It turns out there was an even more compatible friend on their way, a more suited partner, a much better and more satisfying job. It was scary in the beginning but on reflection, everything worked out exceptionally well.
But you had to play your part. You had to hoist yourself up after the loss and disappointment and open up your heart again. None of it would have changed if you had stayed at home in pain and sadness and not walked yourself straight into to that new opportunity, met the spunky new partner, or attended a job interview. It was the momentum that you generated when you decided that the time of pain was close to conclusion, and whether you were ready or not you put on a brave face and decided to begin again.
When bad things happen, it’s most certainly not the end for us, it’s only the beginning. We have to take the time to mourn and feel the loss of what was, and then wait in hope and anticipation for what’s to come.
That might be easier said than done, but the best way to go about it is to thank God for making the moves that you don’t understand as well as making the moves that we thoroughly appreciate. It tells the unseen realm that you might not understand what on Earth is going on, but you trust that events are still being lined up in your favour and you expect that great things are on their way.
There is always an element of the magical working behind the scenes orchestrating the moves that we may not be prepared to make ourselves. Sometimes it feels like the rug is dragged out from underneath us, almost always at a time when we least expected it, but more often than not the rug needed to be removed. It was dusty and dirty and in need of a deep clean.
Hold tight to what may lay ahead, knowing that all the moves are perfectly designed for your best interest and for your best life.
Be confident that all is well, all is taken care of, and that your best days are still most certainly ahead. Blessings came before and they will come again.
In the season of your darkest hour, know that beauty still lays in front of you, and it’s only just a matter of time before it arrives.