Baby lottery

After loss and years of infertility, I would often question what was so different about me. I wondered why I couldn’t seem to take home a beautiful baby when everyone else seemed to be pumping them out at an alarming rate. I quickly discovered that our paths are all very unique and how comparing myself to others was futile.

We might all want similar things but our lives are incredibly different. For my own sanity I had to learn to embrace this fact and realise there’s nothing wrong with me. Well, that’s up for debate.

It turns out that I’m not like the vast majority of the people I am surrounded by and that doesn’t matter in the slightest. I don’t really know the struggles of others and I’m pretty sure they don’t know mine. We are all unique and so I had to learn to view myself through a different lens. Preferably one with Vaseline smothered all over it.

There might not be the outcome that we work our butt off for but that isn’t a reason to give up. Who knows what else could show up on the path. You have to try and not give into those foul thoughts that suggest that everything you do towards gaining your dream is a complete waste of time. You won’t know what a complete waste of time it is until you have exhausted everything and as we discover more often than not, nothing is a waste and it’s not over until it’s really over.

We have to have faith that great things are still coming, that our wishes are being fulfilled, just not on our clock.

Continuing on when times are tough is inspiring. Our resilience can be second to none when we choose to tap into our reserves. How we manage to get ourselves over the line through sharp difficulties is nothing short of a miracle. We are all miracles and every step we take towards achieving our goals is progress.

Often times our sanity is severely tested, but when we have a clear desire our resolve seems to remain intact. Things start changing and good things start coming. But you have to hold up your end of the bargain. That part of you that continues on and sees it through no matter how crazy things get, that’s the truth of who you are, that’s the real you. That’s the queen/king of the castle owning their crown.

It can look like everyone else has it easy with their beautiful bountiful lives and good on them.  However, you never really know what’s going on behind the scenes. You can only worry about the structure of your own sets. So build them high and pretty and as comfortable as you can.

Its confronting to have to endure challenges outside of your control and sometimes nothing and nowhere feels safe, but you can learn to find stability by standing out on a dodgy ledge and look straight out.

There are so many things in our lives that we wish could be different but you have to own your unique life. You have to believe in your ability to make things happen and you must hold onto your vision for the perfect day. Then you have to let that picture be dissolved by the true vision that’s trying to work its way into your life that’s even better.

Anything is possible. We are all incredible and life will unravel. Celebrate everything about yourself. Live and love and be the immense person that you are. Great things are always coming. You just have to keep working hard, ignore the impossible and keep forging ahead. Then get ready to have your greatest desire super sized.

It turned out that I won the baby lottery. I eventually gave birth to the most delightful, perfect, God given child. Proving to me that dreams, even the really big ones that seem ridiculously unachievable, can most certainly come true.

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