The day my tiny baby left was a tough day. I can remember the sharp pain of grief like it was yesterday. I’d never experienced pain like that before. I wasn’t even aware that kind of pain existed. If I were to look back on that dark day with an open heart, I would see … Continue reading Magic

It would have been my son’s fourth birthday last Sunday and it made me think a lot about loss. His absence will always perplex me, but I realised I’ve stopped looking for answers to the seemingly unanswerable questions and I’m more focussed on looking for and feeling his beautiful presence. When I’m having a rough … Continue reading Love and not loss

No one enjoys being shamed by a generously proportioned bad opinion and it’s not un-common to turn one terrible review into a wall of pitiful ill feelings. Once we’ve built a nice big barrage around our shame, it’s kind of easy to hide behind it and believe the badness. The trouble is, long after your … Continue reading Shame be gone

I want to talk about my baby. I want to talk about him because his short life completely altered mine. It was devastating and profound and it changed everything. I want to talk about him even though at times it can be confronting and painful. When my baby was born, there wasn’t a big announcement … Continue reading Baby loss

I’ve always been curious about self-love and wondered why it didn’t come easily to me. Quite frankly, I’m not sure that self-love comes easily to anyone. Unfortunately though, spending time in shame, feeling deeply unworthy and undeserving is how too many of us walk around and it doesn’t exactly propel us into the life of … Continue reading Warts and all

It was the anniversary of my baby’s death recently and I quietly lost the plot. There was sleep deprivation involved I suppose, thanks to my sweet 8 month old, and somehow I developed a desperate desire to fix everything in sight. On an incredibly exciting Friday night, I found myself in the bathroom, rubber gloves … Continue reading Power and peace

I was feeling a bit sorry for myself leading up to what would have been my baby’s third birthday. I thought about how much the time of his passing nearly destroyed me and my faith and how losing my baby changed me forever. I took some moments to let it all in and feel it … Continue reading Tiny hero